cool off my head

The All-American Rejects - Move Along

stupid internet..

it suddenly got stuck and i need to rewrite it again

haih..of course it less emotion now -_-"

hm..maybe its even better..

i've cool off my head

hm..what was i rambling about at 10am just now eh??

i thought i write it in malay back then

well,just pass with another thing jak la

malas nak pikir..hua3

after sleep for about 3 hours (or maybe less..)

i think im ok..i think.. LOL

got so much to do in such a short time

life isnt long you know

and later you know that you're at the end of your day

i think i was rambling about IQ, EQ, SQ

so then lets move on the story...

they said when we have a high IQ (intellect quotient) then your EQ (emotion quotient) will drop

am i saying that i have a high IQ?

not really the case..

but im a rational person and usually left my emotion and humanity behind in thinking or action..

im a bad girl..blame me

now i can understand how does the wife of the "brutal" feel

she love him just because he's nice SOMETIMES

the hell..what bout that many time he hits you??

women..or can i say human??

i dont really understand this kind of things

maybe because im guarded i guess

mum, granma, uncles, bro, sis..

they all treat me like..a fish in an aquarium is it?

oh God,how i wish to go swimming in a time like this at open ocen.. c0oL

tell you something do you know what every diver want? 

swimming with the shark..

oh boy,how lovely would it be?

well,maybe with dolphin 1st XD

wanna know a secret? 

i have a diving license but i cant swim that well..hahaha

i can keep myself from drowning but thats it..

its a shame you know...pity me T_T

water = mizu

it always come in handy in mend your broken heart and anger.. *broken </3

who want some cold water?? *me!! (^_^)(")

going out with friends would be lovely.. maybe i should consider some social party or.. maybe not LOL

My Immortal vs Dear God

Have u listen to my immortal by Evanescence??

its emo..i hate that song since i listen for the 1st time at youtube years ago

why do i always listen to this damn song even if i dont like it..

cause i have my shadow

i dont even know which one is me anymore

am i the emo one or am i the chipper one??

i'll be eaten by my shadow if this continue  -_-

not everything i told jessen and this one include

we got kind of cold war, me and noh that is

jessen's totally right

when im in a bad mood i'll be texting him in english

as me and noh usually text in english

i didnt realize it sooner

but i did it just now

and i usually have fight with boys in english

that's something i remember as in english they got tons of "bad" words

well,its all my fault..

after we broke up 2 years ago

im still remembering him and try to talk with him but he just..

dont like me anymore i guess..

boys pride

its me who broke up with him

wanna know why did i broke up with him?

i dont feel secure

im the one who told him i like him

i've like him for years but when he got into an accident

i just can fake it anymore

better late than sorry they say

and i ask him if i can flirt with him

he's a nice guy and didnt talk much and such a scary cat too =P

(sorry noh XD)

after flirting and stuff, he ask me to be his special gf

i just cant believe it

noh and me?

i feel like God was playing prank on me

he's my 1st special bf and his 1st

so we didnt have that much experience

we didnt have same time table as im working part time and he was else where

i dont think that we even going out!!

we keep it a secret from our parents 

cause we'll be dead if they know it

(love story by taylor swift)

time passes

and we're having long distance relationship

i was scared actually

i dont know if our relationship could last

i know myself, a long distance is a threat

later i dont even know where we did wrong

mostly it was me

i guess i was so busy with my study and stuff as a freshmen

and didnt have time for him

shot!!our relationship began to crumble

usually it was me who did the talking and he only listen

i dont like it

bla bla bla..

i start asking if he got someone better than me and he asked the same

talking to him only make me angry and cry

and one night he told me about a girl

i get jeoluos over nothing and i want a break up

he just..ok

hell..just like that

then i was like..

who am i to him?

im not really that important is it?

i was crying like hell

feeling so stupid and useless

then i know how do we feel when we break up

i off my phone

didnt go out for 3 days

3 f**king days!!

i rarely or can i say never stay in my room even for the whole day

i didnt tell my roommate until i was ok

our relationship didnt last even for a year

stupid me

i never get jealous like that before..

noh was my 2nd biggest crush actually

for my 1st crush,when he told me bout his *gf

i was giving my support though i dont like it

i just want him to be happy

but not noh

i dont even feel like sharing even with his own family or friends

i want him to be mine and only mine

im a mess

i dont know

maybe i just dont feel like he belong to me

he did say that he love me and such but sometimes i wonder

is it truly from him or it just in a heat of moment or maybe passion..uhuk

sometimes when he said that he just cut me deeper..

i listen to you when you said you love me

but the feeling was so lonely

the smile only maintained for a few seconds 

then it turned sour...

i think you really love me

but im feeling very painful too

or else it wouldnt have felt bitter when we kissed..

where can i find the exit to leave you

but where else can i go after i leave?

(Chu Kou_Exit by Fahrenheit)

yep,i got the exit but i got no where to run

i cry in silence every night before i went to bed cause i really miss him

what did they say?? the bed seems wider?? =P

but he didnt seems even care.. duh!

i dont know what happen to him at that time and i dont want to know either

life was harsh.. LOL

after im over with the nightmare and enjoying myself with friend again

i pray to God for him to be ok too *pray m(-_-)m

we did contact sometimes in two years 

but he didnt want to even meet me

so i know it then that he had it hard too

maybe he really did love me but he just didnt know how to show it

then after two years,what i thought was long

and i didnt even get a *bf as i was always thinking and comparing with him

well,i can say they are better than noh.. ops..

but i just cant ignore the feeling can i?

well,maybe just until noh forgive me that is.. +_+

maybe then i can move forward and let my heart warm again

not only faking and crying on the bed..

shot!!

i dont even know that the tears from your eyes can stay on the bed.. LOL

well then after two years we meet again and after a while he was ok

im too afraid to bring out bout the past so we just being close

bla bla bla

i thought it was ok if i try to bring up the subject 

so then i told him everything include the "stalking" u can say..huk2

i told him i dont feel secure with him

like he's drifting away from me so i make a stupid choice to break up 

before he even said anything

he kind of didnt want me to bring the subject

guess the pain is just too real

u read the lyric later..

i cried again..after 2 year

wonder if jessen would laugh at me if he knows 

hey jessen,i cry for a boy..how do you find it?  ='(

stupid girl

i should have known

i should have known

that im not a princess

this isnt a fairy tale

(White horse by taylor swift)

and tonight he makes me cry over the same topic

he said never let go of his hand then im not going to let go

i always tell him, i just need the answer, not comfort

it was like we were pulling a rope and i didnt even know if it was him at the end of the rope

or he just tied the rope to a big rock or tree 

this isnt me..im not a push over

but i am a bit emotional 

i said i never believe in true love then what is this??

God playing prank on me again??

i think i had enough

if he didnt wanna say anything then be it

i really hate it when i become a heartless person

but i did..months after we broke up

its like im living in my own world and the hell with everyone else

i even ignore mizuki and dira..

mizuki of all people, my 1st friend in the university when everyone ignore me

im such an ungrateful person..

 

listen to the songs will you and do drop a comment about the songs if you wish

until then..farewell~

ps: im not going to cut my wrist for this stupid reason 

but i've done something stupid to my left hand

seven the emo girl..

(not aisha...sarah.. sarah seven.. =P)

ps2: if i can do something like this,putting smiley..my brain still functioning ok ryte??

My Immortal by Evanescene

I'm so tired of being here,
suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and
it won't leave me alone


These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase


When you cried,
I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream,
I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me


You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me


These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase


When you cried,
I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream,
I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me


I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me,
I've been alone all along


When you cried,
I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream,
I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me

Evanescence_My Immortal <-----click for video

Dear God by Avenged Sevenfold

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love, purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah

Dear God, the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her when I'm not around, when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her and now I wish I'd stayed
Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired, I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
And all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah

Dear God, the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her when I'm not around, when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her and now I wish I'd stayed
Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired, I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
When hope begins to fade

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love, purpose hard to find

Dear God, the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her when I'm not around, when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her and now I wish I'd stayed
Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired, I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

Avenged Sevenfold - Dear God <----click for video 

can i be selfish and told you that? wonder if you already bored with me.. sayonara is such a pain

oh skirt oh sarah

beberapa mingu lepas, aq sangat suka pakai skirt
kadang2 aq pakai gaya frilly gitu (^///^)
roomate aq juga heran
selalu nya,aq pakai jeans terusan..
sampai teman2 aq juga sangat kenal gaya aq



dulu nya aq memang tomboy habis
tapi time dapat surat mau ke kolej,
i told my mum
"mummy,jom shopping,saya mau pakai skirt ke college.."
of course my mum was very much willingly to buy everything
she was with enthusiasm  LOL XD
i love my mum..
she always support me in most everything except for my dressing =D

ehem..so we went shopping 
and i got myself some pretty nice long skirt and blouse
even a frilly skirt =P
i always like lolith =)
only long skirt is allow at the college..
duh..we have to wear baju kurung actually to formal class
and no modern design!!
just like wearing school uniform, 
the different is you cant choose between baju kurung or pendafour
just like mum said, you need to wear formal -_-"

and you know what
my uncle is so cool
one day,to my surprise,my uncle know about loli gothic!! v(^0^)v
my mum was asking me abouth my dressing
and my uncle answer it for me
high5 for my uncle (^_^)(")

now im at university, 
i revert back being a boyish girl (of course!! or not =P)
that year in the college is just for experiment 
and i got 4 scandal there.. c0oL
the bad habit i got back there being a girly girl,
i cant accept it if a boy said no to me..
very much selfish i said
i cant believe that i have that thing in me..kowaii.. 
im scared of myself (~_~)
and im very sorry for those guys whose been my experiment.. T_T
not my fault,already told them im not interested in dating
but three of them have their own partner now
to think of that,only two person was kinda serious
for the other two, it was just a fling~
and that one other person,his name is azlan if im not mistaken
he's such a nice fellow,
i know him since after spm
best candidate if i could say
but i never meet him..hoho
we lost contact now
he was somewhere in the ocean i believe
working on a ship


and to think of that,
he didnt really give me that adrenaline rush like noh did.. LOL XD
he's very much like my best friend here, jensen
i like jensen much, we were friend since 1st year till now
and he didnt really go saying,
"you should be more like a girl.." or something
he usually there for me
thats what a friend for right??
saling menyusah kan XD
but he did praise me if im wearing 'girly'.. *nothing lah..hehe (^///^)('')
and sometimes ask me why im not wearing it everyday.. uh oh -_-
oh jensen..
he's such a funny guy


btw, i dont favor mini skirt
mind you,we're in terengganu
and my mum dont like it of my skirt is too short
so i only wear knee high skirt
my mini dress usually 2 in 1
you can wear it as a skirt and mini dress..
thats what we call saving ^_^
i just love shopping.. <3
havent use my mastercard for more than a month now.. T_T

driving alone..or not

wah!!i was soo scared last night.. #_#

my friend, elli ask me to send her and her sis to chapel (for those who didnt know,chapel is smaller than church),

she's a protestant

she said the bro came too early
and she decided to go later

well,i said ok if she's going to pay 4 the car rent =P
she drove 1st and we went to pick up her sis at instep

we went to the city and had dinner at
uncle chua noodles

oishi~ i had mee tom yam..you should try it..
and the place is soo romantic
the uncle is kind too..
he ask me hows the food and i told him
"sangat sedap,saya suka..terima kaseh (^_^)"
n we spend about rm35 for 3 people.. XD

later after drop them at the chapel,
i need to drove alone back to campus
it was my 1st time driving alone at night
dan aq xpunya stiker "P" di kereta
sangat takut ditahan polis.. +_+
aq bgtau dri sdiri..

"relax sarah, everyone has his or her 1st time and this is your 1st time"

sedikit bertenang ketika itu 
tapi aq kemudiannya sedar
i couldnt see well in the dark
then i decided to go home
my house just 10 minutes from KT.. XD
then i told my mum  
"mami,saya sangat takut drive alone..n its dark"
my mum told me to bring my sis with me back to campus
but that girl didnt wanna..
n kept pestering me about the sweater im wearing..urg!!
then i decided to went back to campus alone..
im very scared..totally +_+
when i was starting the engine,
my bro called me back
she said mum told me to wait up
but i need to get back befiore midnight
then i told him i cant wait too long -_-"
later,my bro get into the car with me
and i drove back to campus
mum told me tht she'll follow later
aq hampir langgar pembahagi jalan
kerana silau lampu kereta belakang
nearly knocked someone
who suddenly running out from no where at my 80km/h
and hampir langgar traffic light untuk belok kanan,
aq ingatkan lampu nya rosak
5x lampu depan tukar,lampu belok kanan x nyala2..
and the cars from the back hon non stop..huk2 T_T
thankfully i arrived at my campus without any scratch
(not me nor the car =P)

oh,n i gave my sis that sweater im wearing..
on my waist..as usual XD
now i only have 4 sweater with me..
and the sweater she want is the warmest one T_T
(though i dont really like the design)

moral of the story to myself: 
dont drive alone..especially at night..
and get yourself a new glasses..LOL XD

Tinier me n selfy

helo again..

a few more days before break..

i cant wait..

im playing this selfy game..

from tinier me
yay!! \\(^_^)//

you guys wanna try??

its cool and got lotz of design..

more to otaku actually..

then here's some pic of me by my daily dress.. =P

me,my cap,my badges,my headphone,my laptop,
n my favourite blue jacket at my waist.. 
and just love wearing layers of cloth  
yep,thats me alright LOL XD


gaya aku yang biasa
sangat sukakan cap, headphone, latop dan jaket biru aku
samada gaya tomboy atau feminine,aku memang suka pakai baju berlapis-lapis =D
oh ya, dr razak (supervisor final projek aku) hadiah kan aku cap merah
selepas sampling di pulau redang hari tu
aku anggap sebagai hadiah hari lahir aku
aku sangat bahagia..
muka nya, gaya nya, persis dad u know ^_^
dan maybe sebab itu dia hadiah kan aku cap itu
atau juga maybe,kerana dia bosan dengan mulut aku yang bising XD

well,dream selfy,brought to you by 
http://www.tinierme.com/tinierme/html/index2.html

ps: er,aku tidak suka pakai track bottom sebenarnya 

dan akan mengelakkan diri dari memakai nya dengan pelbagai alasan =P

just tekan "remove all clothing" sudah boleh cipta gaya kamu sendiri..postkan di profile sendiri ya *wink (^_~)
http://www.dreamself.me/clothes.php?action=change&id=0&back=0&hat=10398531&bg=10381204&face=10411171&hair=10421711&accef=10347891&accen=10349016&top=10401493&coat=10368741&acceh=10372682&bottom=0&shoe=0&bodycolor=17000193#

taylor swift

really3 love the singer ^///^

i just love country music 

hepy hepy ^_^

Taylor Alison Swift was born on December 13, 1989

she is a American country pop singer-songwriter and actres

she has a nice body and voice

have you heard this song??

Mine by Taylor Swift..

enjoy~ (^_^)(")

Mine lyrics
Songwriters: Taylor Swift

You were in college working part time waiting tables
Left a small town, never looked back
I was a flight risk with a fear of falling
Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts

I say can you believe it?
As we're lying on the couch
The moment I could see it
Yes, yes, I can see it now

Do you remember we were sitting there by the water?
You put your arm around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Flash forward and we're taking on the world together
And there's a drawer of my things at your place
You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded
You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes

But we got bills to pay
We got nothing figured out
When it was hard to take
Yes, yes, this is what I thought about

Do you remember we were sitting there by the water?
You put your arm around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Do you remember all the city lights on the water?
You saw me start to believe for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

And I remember that fight, 2:30 a.m.
As everything was slipping right out of our hands
I ran out crying and you followed me out into the street

Braced myself for the goodbye
'Cause that's all I've ever known
Then you took me by surprise
You said I'll never leave you alone

You said I remember how we felt sitting by the water
And every time I look at you, it's like the first time
I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter
She is the best thing that's ever been mine

Hold on, make it last
Hold on, never turn back
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

Do you believe it?
We're gonna make it now
I can see it
I can see it now
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPBwXKgDTdE&ob=av2e

hepy besday love

hepy besday love

wish you a blast birthday

i love you and i'll always be.. ^///^

what happen

one night, noh ask for my photo

he said he want to save it in his hp

i was like very overwhelm with happiness 0////0

but i didnt give him

i never give my photo to a guy before

but noh isnt just any guy..

he's da guy i like

as my hp didnt hv dt mms function,i didnt send him

ah,now i remember..

i promise him that i will send him my photo this week

and before he could ask it from me again he fall sick

im a curse +_+

its because im afraid he'll ask 4 it

i really didnt mean it

i never want to curse anyone

i already made a deadly curse on someone that i never intend to

just because i dont want to lie

i think its my guardian spirit

they didnt want me to lie on my own word....

but i never want any of them suffer..

especially not noh...

i think im having a voodoo inside of me

im a curse #_#